Cold Storage -- The Verdict

Going for the burger in a seafood shop can be a risky move.  But, try we must, as not all heroes wear capes. Moreover, the group was hungry that day, my friends, and most inclined to eat and enjoy.  And, we all did eat and enjoy ... the apps. The hot crab dip and the chowder were very well received. By the time … and, it took some time, for our leisurely lunch … we got to the burger, critical judgment had returned, and split our group in half.  For the detractors: “Dry. Salty. Crispy. No, this isn’t a Planter’s nuts review. Decent effort, but unremarkable in all regards. Horrible seating. Ample portions, but condiments (I.e. Ketchup) were restricted quantities for some reason.” Fans found the burger succeeds despite all Cold Storage’s meddling. A solid grilled, double patty slathered with delicious cheese. Bun was unremarkable and lost some structural integrity, but held it together just enough.” Another found the “bun was unimpressive but the cheese spectacular.” Still, there was much room for improvement with the overall experience: “for $11 I guess it’s ok not to include fries. But if I order fries as a $6 side, they should be perfect, and these were extremely salty and overfried.” Another lamented: “Everything else made me sad. The coleslaw wasnt fries, and the fries looked delicious, but malt wasn’t optional. Hotel bottle ketchup and un-Goldielock stools that made the wait seem longer. Just get the burger and ask for a low top.” Low 73; high 84; average 78.

Exhibit 96 --- Cold Storage

Copper Fox -- The Verdict

Nothing like a good, old-fashioned donnybrook. Reviews on this burger would challenge the ablest statistician. We all agreed that one is in for a sloppy time, but a wide range of views on execution. Even the lowest scorer noted: “I wanted to rank this much higher. I did. The burger itself was terrific. The creator is on to something here ….”  Another low-scorer thought there was a lack of “finesse or balance in putting this thing together,” and was pleasantly surprised that “the lower bun stayed intact given the assault of excessive sauce.” The median reviewer found it “messy but manageable,” with “flavorful beef, and good incorporation of lettuce and tomato, which I normally eschew.” The highest rater found the sauce “well worth the mess.  One of the best tasting burgers I’ve had.”  Regardless:  bring a poncho.  Low 64; high 92; average 78.

Exhibit 95 -- Copper Fox

Mini Mott -- The Verdict

On a different scale, this burger would register 3.6 roentgen:  not great, not terrible. The burger itself was fine, though at least one came overcooked. The points gained for creativity in concept had demerits in execution. Maybe even too many jalapeños and potato frizzles, and the combination itself didn't land. Said one: "I appreciated the crunch of the potato frizz, but they were limp by the end, and the overall flavor just didn’t seem right to me. At least it didn’t cost much." Nubbin fries also detracted.  Low of 70; high of 78; average 74.

Exhibit 94 -- Mini Mott

City Mouse -- The Verdict

Like the neighborhood that surrounds it, this is a gentrified experience.  But the refined, Big Mac style burger really hit the spot.  Complex flavors, including a Sriracha kick in the sauce, added complexity of flavors, but did not detract from getting the basics right as well.  "I expected the bun to fall apart after a few bites, but it held to the end. Solid fries and a bright atmosphere we a bonus."  Even the gluten free toast, requested special by one of our group, didn't disappoint either.  Low of 86; high of 93; average of 89!