Pacific Standard Time -- The Verdict

We haven't had a burger that scored in the 90s for a while, and 5 out of 6 of us really enjoyed this one! Wrote one: "The salt + char flavor on the patties plus the creamy “Holey Cow” cheese is a great combo."  Another: "I loved the bun, the burger, the cheese, the jam, the dijonaise and the fries. This burger simply outearned its mistakes." Another: "Two delicious patties, with a good char and juicy middle. Mild, but complementary cheese; right-sized, soft, and capable bun; and utilitarian lettuce ON THE BOTTOM keeping the juices in and the bun from sogginess." "Best new burger in a while for me, I’d definitely say. Each element is great and then they work beautifully together. Completely delicious, really scratches the burger itch perfectly. Seasoned well and I loved the bacon jam. On top of that, it’s top notch sides and service." And: "An understatedly, simple looking burger. This has more flavor than it has any right to. Great handling with pops of bacon in all the right places."  Our one detractor -- there's always one, isn't there -- found the offering uninspiring: "Sadly, my burger was uninspired and over cooked and the condiments couldn’t mask the dry icky taste. Once I removed the meat, the bun was delicious." We all agreed though that (1) the McD-style fries were fantastic; (2) they were served without nubbins; but (3) there weren't enough of them.  Perhaps that's what happens when you order 6 burgers at once.  

One more thing:  Across the room, the diners included three actors from the next Quentin Tarantino move:  Jeff Bridges as The Preacherman, John Malkovich as Ambrose Burnside, and Michael Pollard as Truman Capote. Come for the burger, stay for the star power!  

Exhibit 88 -- Pacific Standard Time

Free Rein -- The Verdict

A pleasant restaurant, directly on Michigan Avenue, is always a delight. And, this was a lovely space, with good service, and interesting apps. The burger also seemed architecturally significant. "I’ll never forget that moment after we ordered but before our food arrived where a waiter walked by our table holding two delightful looking burgers and we all felt the urge to tackle him. This burger LOOKS fantastic and alllllllmost is." Most liked the mustard-y sauce, cooked-to-order quality, and flavorful meat.  But, for some, the bun crowned the burger with distraction and disappointment. "It’s like the bun is the stiff camera hogging star of a show with a stellar supporting cast." So, ignore the bun, and this burger and the restaurant as a whole is a winner.  Low of 78; high of 89; average of 84.

Exhibit 87 -- Free Rein

Bellemore -- The Verdict

Come for the ambience; but you'll probably find something better than the burger. Our biggest fan wrote: "I enjoyed the burger very much. The meat was extraordinary and well seasoned. Perfect handling and an exceptional bun. Not a creative effort in the slightest and the cheese was hidden/too mild in flavor." We also found the lack of fries disturbing, particularly given the substitute chips that were not up to the task. "Why not serve something like fries if you refuse to serve fries, but yet want to sell a cheeseburger? Chips didn’t hold up to the task."  Most found the burger better looking than it tased. Another noted: "Reminds me of a room service prep — expensive, hunky, but not great flavor. The condiments didn’t carry enough of a flavor load either. And the chips were a complete 'meh.'" Again, though, a lovely room. By all means, go to Bellemore, jus not for the burger. P.S. Don't forget to check out some of the best restrooms in the greater Chicagoland area. Low of 61; high of 86; average of 73.

Exhibit 86 -- Bellemore

Beacon Tavern -- The Verdict

Green chiles, jalapeño aoli, and pepper jack cheese topped a burger with a playfully aggressive personality.  Most of us liked the heat, and could even envision a spicier offering. We found the combination meaty, juicy, just the right amount of loosey.  Also, on an unrelated but vital note, they ace the handling. A burger is a balancing act. It’s supposed to be a bit of a mess if it’s done right, but not so much that you can’t eat it with your hands. They hit that perfectly. We also enjoyed the unlimited free carafes of fizzy water, and the escape from a very touristy area. Low of 81; high of 90; average of 85.  

Exhibit 85 -- Beacon Tavern

Boeufhaus -- The Verdict

What a shame that we lacked a quorum for this outing!  We had three +90 scores, with comments like this: "I wanted to snuggle this burger. The bun was pillowy. The perfectly beefy beef so loosely packed. It was like biting into the tastiest, most substantial cloud I've ever eaten. The sauce on the side would have sunk this burger; throw it away and enjoy." Said another: "a great burger experience. Perfectly cooked medium, full-flavored, with an excellent char crust. And without a bun, the bed of frisée totally worked — can anyone say jus vinaigrette? And the beouf-fat fries. YUM." Our lowest scorer (with a still-not-too-shabby 83) would have scored higher, but for the char. The only thing we all didn't like was the odd-tasting side sauce, which happily remained in the ramekin and avoided cross-contamination. Where’s the Boeuf? Right here! 

Exhibit 84 -- Boeufhaus

Lockdown Bar & Grill -- The Verdict

Finnish death metal *and* a burger?  What's not to like?  Well, there were some things not to like, not that any complaints could be heard over the Marilyn Manson montage.  Despite the prison theme and some interesting combination options, our detractors thought the burger lacked flavor.  Wrote one reviewer:  "This prison themed dive aesthetic was better than the burger. A relatively unseasoned burger, accentuated by a lack of moisture make this bid a little too long for me. I suppose though, this is homage to its incarcerated heritage. Unlike an actual visit down the river, the service here was terrific. The menu is amazing. The combos are great, in theory, but not unlike rehabilitation, they are only aspirationally wonderful. If sentenced to dine at Lockdown, go in the evening, and after you’ve had several cocktails." Another: "While not rising to the level of shocking the conscience, I am sad, sad, sad bc my medium super merkts stuffed extravaganza burger turned out to be merely a medium rare plain burger with fried something sprinkles on the top. Yummy if somewhat burned fries. Please make the music stop. All in all: deliberate indifference."  Not that there weren't some fans:  "I’m biased because I was already a repeat Lockdown customer. It’s a bold, Kuma’sesque burger accompanied by metal tunes. This go was a little muddled though, I must say. My burger was delicious but I couldn’t really discern the beef from the overpowering chorizo. Top notch fried egg. But overall a little too messy. And the wait was excessive, with misfires in the execution all around, which just left the impression that we had the kitchen’s B team today. I know this place can do much better, so it’s a bummer. Insert sad face."  Still, we suspect the Heinz ketchup had been replaced with an off-brand, in some Shawshank-like shenanigan of the warden's choosing.  Low of 68; high of 84; average of 74.

Exhibit 83 -- Lockdown Bar & Grill

Travelle -- The Verdict

For $23, the burger better be something special.  And this one was pretty good.  While we again lacked a quorum sufficient to merit a fully admissible review, we enjoyed the oversized patty, American cheese (as good as American cheese can be), and capable bun that kept a juicy burger together.  The onions weren't listed on the menu, and got to be a bit much.  Still, we all loved the burger to start but, by the end, our enthusiasm began to lag a bit.  The seasoned fries were noteworthy, and the "generically downtown fancy" vibe was pleasant.  Said one:  "This is a burger I would happily eat again.  Like for dinner tonight.  If someone else were paying."

Exhibit 82 -- Travelle

Maillard Tavern -- The Verdict

Sadly, we lacked a quorum for this to be an official review, but our four tasters each found a little slice of burger heaven at Maillard Tavern. Delicious patties, clever combinations (such as:  BBQ sauce, bleu cheese, and grilled onions), tasty fries, and local ketchup added to the vibe.  "I was humming Despacito to myself during this entire experience as I just didn't want my burger to end."  While the scores weren't official, they were all in the 90's.  In short:  Inadmissible, but delicious.  We hope to get back for a proper judging soon!